A Service to My Heart
by J.L. Dexter
Summary: In the aftermath of Bahamut's attack, Alexandria now lies in ruin. The fear and concern for their future, and their fallen and missing comrades weighs heavily on the minds of the people and General Beatrix is no exception. Beatrix centered fic.


Disclaimer: I do _not _own any characters, places or names- all rights go to SquareEnix. I just simply own the plot.

_**A Service to My Heart**_

If the pelting rain that showered the now destroyed and barren wasteland was any indication, then the Gods surely must have been weeping with sorrow at the destruction that greeted them; the Queen was dead, the Princess was missing again and the once great kingdom of Alexandria lay in ruins.

Lightning streaked across the sky as the low and distant rumble of thunder broke the dreary silence that had settled across the land. Tiny rivers and wash-outs marred the plains, the rushing water tinted red as it washed the earth, erasing all signs of the battle that had brought the kingdom and its people to their knees. The castle- a once steadfast sanctuary- laid in crumbled remains, the debris scattered far and wide, its state truly a sight to behold; Alexandria had fallen.

----

The room was in shambles, of that there was no doubt: various parts of the walls were beginning to crumble, the unnerving sound of the whole structure groaning under the immense pressure echoing through the now empty rooms and corridors as wooden splinters mingled with dozens of glass shards amongst the now charred and burned floor.

The castle had been evacuated, the live and injured ferried across to the slightly less demolished town and yet, I still remained. I didn't quite know my reasons for staying behind after I had urgently ushered everyone else out to the awaiting boats in the harbor; perhaps my alliance to the throne and the kingdom weighed far more important than my safety and that fact alone had compelled me to stay. I sighed heavily, tossing the recent events through my mind, the fragmented memories tormenting my very conscience.

I contemplated all of the reasons, _why? _desperately trying to come up with something logical, sensible, hell, anything that could possibly propel me forward in the knowledge and acceptance that the kingdom- _my kingdom!_- was collapsing down around me and I was helpless, unable to do anything but watch it fall with silent dignity. With elbows propped against a wobbly table and forehead resting upon my folded hands, I grieved for my fallen comrades and for my home.

I caught a gleam of metal from the corner of my eye and turned my gaze back to the brittle tabletop, its surface resting two different objects, both tenderly placed upon the table with my calloused hands: one a sword, its cold steel seemingly returning my stare. The other item- a simple iron glove- much smaller in size and value sat dauntingly in its spot neither returning my stare nor acknowledging it. A slight frown crossed my lips at the thought that came to mind. _...Steiner. _

I recalled to memory how during Bahamut's attack upon the kingdom, he and I had rushed into battle, both intent on protecting our Queen and country- _our home_. To say the task was easy would be a lie; we fought side by side against the creatures- spawn of the mist, minions of Kuja- that rapidly poured into the defenseless town wreaking havoc and destruction in their wake. It was during this battle that I had the privilege of seeing the Captain's true side: brave, loyal and compassionate. All traits any respectful knight would give to have, myself included. He was a Knight sworn to service: a precious oath and his given word. And it was there that he had vowed protection for not only the Queen, but for myself as well. It was then I realized just how meaningless my life had become; in the end, title and reputation meant absolutely nothing when it came down to it. _Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. _And he had vowed to do just that and I wonder, would I have done the same for him? ..._I hadn't. _

Funny, how I think I reflected on my life more in the aftermath of Alexandria's downfall than ever before.

Ridden with guilt and sorrow I pushed myself away from the table roughly, the already weakened chair legs scraping across the floor in protest. I tore my gaze away from the items before me as I made my way to the window, the sound of the rain drowning the uneasy silence that had settled in. Once more my mind wandered to the bumbling Captain that had served under crown and throne with me for more than a decade, both of us rivals and yet, somehow, friends.

It was during this attack that Captain Steiner had gone missing- one minute we were there, together, and in the next... hell, I can't quite remember what happened next, the exact events have escaped me, except one: he was gone. He just vanished. There wasn't a single trace of him to be found, except for one overly rusted and dented iron glove- the same which now sat on the table before me- that had been discovered mere feet from where Steiner had last stood.

The sound of footsteps outside the open door broke me from the depressed reverie I had slipped into and I slowly turned to see one of the Knights of Pluto standing there in the doorway, a rather melancholy expression on his face. He gave a half-hearted salute and stepped forward, a tightly fisted hand producing a parchment in my direction. I eyed him quizzically before accepting the letter, a feeling of dread and uncertainty knotting in the pit of my stomach. Scanning the message I breathed a sigh of relief, "The Queen is safe." Queen Garnet- accompanied by Zidane and the other members that made up his ragtag team- had made it safely to Lindblum. I would have to remember to thank them properly upon our next meeting.

The guard across from me nodded in agreement, "That's good news."

"Yes, but...," the news of my Queen's safety hadn't quite quelled the feeling of remorse that still lingered. _The note said nothing about Steiner... _

So lost in my disappointment I failed to realize that I had not yet dismissed the knight, nor did I realize the expression on his face as he watched me. I suppose I should have known that he was watching me with the utmost sincerest sympathy. No doubt that he- along with the majority of the Knights of Pluto- were indeed worried about their captain and his safety. Yet despite this fact, he still regarded me with concern. It was then I glanced up, slightly startled to see the young man still standing there and I was pretty sure that my own crest-fallen expression and concern for the Captain had given me away, but I didn't care. The guard didn't seem to care either. In all truth, the two of us- he and I- were pretty much feeling the same way. He didn't ask any questions... he didn't have to. He already knew.

I gave a slight nod of thanks and dismissal to him in which he returned with a salute before heading to the door. Balling my hand up, the message now crumpling between my fingers, I turned back to the window, the rain and my guilt.

"General, ma'am."

Turning, I saw the guard paused in the doorway before retreating, his head slightly bowed and his gaze downcast. I waited for him to continue and thankfully, I did not have to wait long as he canted his head and looked straight at me, a look of hope crossing his face as he simply stated, "Don't worry General, we'll find him." He didn't wait for an answer, just turned on his heel and quickly disappeared through the door. I could feel the knot in my stomach slowly unravel at the reassurance from the guard: _yes, we would find him._

A glint of metal caught my attention and I turned my gaze towards the object: my sword. Though the blade was bathed in a history of bloodshed, violence and a world without mercy, it had served me well through the years... it had yet to let me down. The gleaming sword gave me a newfound hope and it was then I knew what I had to do.

My fingers traced the cold steel, a small smile resting on my face, "Well my friend, it seems we have one last fight in us yet." I sheathed the sword at my side and spared one more glance toward the glove that remained on the table before forcing my way to the door. Just as Steiner was sworn to it, so too was I.

I was sworn to service; a service to my Queen, a service to my country and a service to my heart.

**Author's Corner: **I'm not quite sure whether to chalk this story up to admiration, curiosity or insanity, though I am leaning heavily in the direction of the latter. -- Sure, the woman has a not-so-friendly past, but who doesn't? And in my books, it's a true leader- and hero- who can confess her wrong doings and accept defeat with dignity. Take it as you will...


End file.
